We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize