Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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