Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
