Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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