I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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