You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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