you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she peed on how many people?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize