I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize