Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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