just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
