I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
