Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
