I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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