Sponge bath it is.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize