So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize