why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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