so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
