So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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