i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm like, not good at living.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
