census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
