I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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