My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
