well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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