Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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