So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
