That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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