There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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