Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
