I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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