your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
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my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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