i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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