Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
