I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
