If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
