I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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