marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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