It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
