Whod you bang
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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