that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
