I think I died a long time ago.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
