And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
