I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
