We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
