That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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