The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
