You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
