I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
