I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
