So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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