I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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