nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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