she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
not ubering you a puppy
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
that may or may not have been my penis.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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