Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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