That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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