Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
