party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
