For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Randomize
